My scalding hot shower completed, an old Dallas Stars tshirt hanging loosely over my body, I'm digesting the news headlines and critiques I sporadically clicked through.....
No substantial thoughts or analysis on my part, really. Besides a basic knowledge of the day's "events" - swine flu here, ignored cease fire there - I'm going to sleep only with the selfish satisfaction that I have probably fulfilled more citizen-like duties than most people my age. Nice.
And, with my eyelids getting heavier as the small microwave clock changes, I'm thinking. Thinking thoughts of one day being inspired. Thinking thoughts of "maybe those days begin now". Thinking thoughts of......."I'm registering for my sophomore year tomorrow. Damn."
Without delving into philosophy, in which case I would undoubtedly be digging myself out of a pile of my own bullshit, I will say this: My, has time flown.
With every text to my father, every distant phone conversation with Steve, a passing glance at the picture of my mom hanging on my dorm wall, I'm reminded that I'm here and not there. I've been here for almost 9 months. And after a brief reunion, I will return here.
So, it is very well established that time is passing by. But what I have yet to figure out, and, alarmingly so, is what I'm doing with that time.
As of right this moment, in the crinkled sheets of my twin bed, I'm too tired to find out.
But I should. I have to. I will.
And perhaps after I steadily walk down a dimly lit hallway from my classes, I will kick off my shoes and pretend I'm in a real home and watch some Headline News, smirking on the inside at such a quirky and nerdy use of time for an 18 girl....
Maybe I will find something there. Something that my sleepy eyes cannot ignore. Something that a simple scroll through a website cannot quench.
But the red, digital numbers on my small microwave just changed. It is almost midnight. And I am tired.
Goodnight.
-evelyn wanja
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